Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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