Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
