There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
