i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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