She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
