whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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