Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
