You're so nebulous sometimes
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers