I want leopard sheets
thats the plan
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.