Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize