he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize