someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
