Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I party with great urgency now.
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