I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
