pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It was confusing and full of hummus
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize