That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
