so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize