they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
