6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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