I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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