That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
