Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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