you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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