you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
