It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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