If i come over, it means nothing
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
