Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
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Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
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We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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