I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
did i walk over a car last night?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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