I like my sex mixed with concussions.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
