we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
