like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
