He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
