I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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