I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
