just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize