I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize