thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
