pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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