just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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