that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
