Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
