To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
