I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
