So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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