the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
