I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I am available for nakedness
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
