Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
