the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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