Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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