take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
