I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
The ass gains better be worth it
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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