we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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