nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Do vagina's smell?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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