either way he was missing a nipple.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
