Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Say something about gay babies.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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