trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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