you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
