The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
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I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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