Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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