i just wanna soil my oats bro
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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