I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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