would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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