She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
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No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
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Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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