He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Randomize
